There wasn't much turbulence Sunday evening on my flight home. At least I didn't think so.
I stepped out of my seat and headed for the airplane lavatory (why do they call it that?). The sign said "Vacant" and I chuckled to myself that, "Yep, my mind feels pretty empty."
Every time I maneuver into these cramped tiny spaces called lavatories, I often think these things are meant for size 0 behinds and not mine!
But this time as I climbed in and slid the lock over, I realized "Vacant" really described my heart.
Yep. I just dropped my daughter off at college in a different state that requires a plane ride to visit. It's sort of an empty feeling, a feeling of change, a feeling of quiet disharmony. Sigh.
As the door latch clicked, I remembered a moment of sheer joy when my daughter looked so grown up standing in her dorm room, so bright-eyed and ready for this new challenge.
And I realize that I have a choice as well.
I can take her example, the one of enthusiasm and apply it to my "new" life.
I am robbed of my daughter's daily presence but not her excitement, and I can fill the empty moments with memories, hopes and the texts or face-times to come. I'll savor her stories and the true hope and promise that exudes from her. And I'll remember that I had a part in fostering those wonderful traits that drive her now.
She is in the right place for her. I know it. This is her time and I rest in the knowledge that she knows it too.
I could choose to be sad, to weep at the empty bed in her room while the crickets chirp their evening serenade, but what does that really buy me? It doesn't change a thing!
Instead I will choose to look to my daughter's example and look at this time as a way to know I am in the right place for me. I'll continue to be mom, even if from far away. God still has plans for me too. I will intentionally choose to look to those with the same enthusiasm as my daughter looks to hers.
It reminds me that my heart's never really going to be vacant. No. I'll squeeze my never-been size 0 butt into this new life and slide the sign over to occupied...cause Lord knows that girl of mine has my heart.