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Friday, March 30, 2012

Toxic Waste Management

It’s time for me to come to the party!

I’ve realized that all us moms need encouragement of a different kind! We need and deserve recognition that our job is the most important job on earth! It is true the pay is non-existent, and the rewards are beyond words, but let’s cut to the chase.

What happens when our children hit school age? We’ll be thinking about going back to work. In the meantime, we all need to determine what skills we bring to the table after years of “mothering.”

Therefore, I’ve come up with a more relevant theme:

Things We Can Put on Our Resumes

And I’m gonna start with a biggie!


There are LOTS of diapers. Diapers R US. Did you know that babies on average go through 10 diapers a day? That’s 70 in a week and 315 in a month! Never mind the financial implications, consider how many times we wash our hands…or don’t!

Here’s the poll question of the week:

How many of us quickly change a diaper just to rush over and stir dinner? Be honest…

But the toxic waste doesn’t stop here. There are runny and bloody noses and all of our favorite…vomit. What? All the dads just ran out of the room…what is that? Chickens…

Let us not underestimate the importance of this job. Somebody has to do it and we’re it! So share your favorite stories on this blog and we’ll have a good laugh.

Here’s mine:

A few years back, I had a five year old, two year old and one year old while trying to sell our house. The real estate agent didn’t understand the concept of calling ahead, so I usually got about a ten minute time frame in which to vacate the premises. We were highly motivated to sell our current property because we had put a bid on another.

The phone rang and I let it go since I’m changing my 1 year old’s dirty diaper. As it went to the answering machine, I heard the realtor’s voice.

“We’ll be there in ten minutes. Sounds like you’re not home, so great!”

My one year old was on the floor, so I knew she was safe, but my two year old ran away from me with the phone so I ran after him. I was gone for 4 seconds. I returned to see my one year old scooting butt down over to the wall. She smeared the remaining poop that has not been smeared into the carpet onto the wall. But the fun part is that she had given herself a bit of a hair treatment with the same poop. All in 4 seconds.

And I had ten minutes. To get poop off the wall. Out of the carpet. And off the baby.

Turned on the shower, held my baby under the warm water, scrubbed out the poop. I slapped a diaper on and strapped all three kids into the car. I scrubbed the wall and the carpet but there was still a smell. No baking cookies were gonna help that stench! So I FeBreezed it and put the diaper pail over the slight remaining carpet stain…and I prayed.

The house sold, but not to those clients…I’m pretty sure.

So share your stories, cause I KNOW you have ‘em! Leave a comment, would love to see them!

And see you next week when we add another title to our resume!